We’ve all been in this situation before. After a long day of work or play, you come back to your limited service hotel room with a few bottles and just want to relax. As you go to pour out your prize for the evening you realize the bottle you have chosen is not twist off and there is no bottle opener in the hotel room. You consider calling down to have the front desk call room service to bring you up a bottle opener but decide that is too many steps for the instant gratification you are seeking. Well PMM is here to help with a travel trip to take the edge off.
Using only the contents of your hotel room, we present two tried and thoroughly tested options for releasing the contents of your bottle.
Your target
Option 1: The door
Most people think a door is just an apparatus on which they can hang their Do Not Disturb or Make a Green Choice signs…..WRONG! The door is a bottle opening machine. Found in nearly 100% of hotel rooms, the door’s interior latch can be used to pry open a bottle in seconds. I must warn you this method has a high spill risk. It takes years of practice to master the craft and coordination needed to quickly reorient the bottle when the pressure of the bottle is released. I am not meaning to brag, but not one drop was spilled in this demonstration. For extra credit, use the bathroom door.
The setup
Clean release, no spillage.
Option 2: The ironing board
The ironing board is having issues maintaining its closet-share in business hotels these days with the advent of the iron-free shirt. However, I still find these multi-purpose tools in about 85% of hotel rooms. If you are fortunate to have one in your room, you now have another, more elegant option to open your bottled delight.
The primary issue identified with the door option is that the angle forces your bottle to be at a 90 degree angle when the pressure is released causing unnecessary spillage. The innovative ironing board solution eliminates this issue.
First locate your ironing board and bring it to a large open space where you can maneuver it easily.
Second, locate an edge on the under-board where the bottle top can be leveraged tightly into the space.
Third, lean the entire board forward so that the bottle is near upright when you pull it against the under-board’s ledge and release the pressure. The closer you are able to open the bottle to horizontal, the lower chance you have of letting any precious bottle contents spill.
Final steps
You’ve gotten this far, don’t forget the last and most important step of pouring out the drink into your choice of hotel drinking mechanisms. With the bottles cracked, locate your favorite generic coffee cup, clear glasses they normally set next to the bathroom, or plastic-wrapped plastic cups found in your hotel room, pour the beer and enjoy!
Cheers. You earned it!
Very impressed. I knew the bathroom door latch but the ironing board is new. Thanks
Don’t forget to wash those coffee cups or glasses first….. ’cause you just don’t know! (and any soap residue if they were cleaned will ruin the most excellent beverage….)
Love it! Is that a Hyatt Place?
This… above all else… is the best blog ever…..THANKS PMM for the great advice….
Clearly a Hyatt Place. I would just ask for a G&T downstairs.
But if you need a bottle opener, I had a blank key cut with a notch in the round head that will peel up the edge of the cap (need to use it in three or four places). Now it fits right on my key chain without being bulky like a “real” bottle opener.
Definitely a useful post! I normally use a more destructive approach.
Love this!….. love it!
Unibroue is a twist top, right? Might make it a bit easier…
Hilarious post! And a great beer…
But it seems like too much work when you could just grab a lighter or an 8.5×11 piece of paper and do the job (without spillage). In a pinch, I’m sure a takeout menu or flyer would work.
For future reference when you have multiple bottles:
I was hoping you were going to the edge of desk too as part of your demo 🙂
Awesome post….
http://www.chow.com/food-news/54876/how-to-open-a-beer-with-a-piece-of-paper/