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I have a friend who works in the airline industry, and he said that lately a posts have been cropping up closed Facebook groups where airline employees are asking other airline employees this simple question:
Here are a few of our favorite responses (in no particular order):
- “I have a headache bring me 4 OxyContins and Jack & Coke?”
- “Why is the ground white up here? Me: Ma’am, that’s called snow. We are currently above the land of Narnia”
- Circling Aspen due to weather: “Can you tell the captain just to land in Vail? I can see it right there and it’s clear.”
- “Is this a British Airways flight?” (On a US Airways flight)
- “Will you peel my hard boiled egg for me?”
- “Can you fill my baby bottle up with those little creamers?!?”
- A lady asks me and points out the window “what body of water is that out there?” I told her that I did not know. She then looks at me like I’m totally stupid and says “were you absent the day they taught you that in training?”
- ATC Ground hold during blizzard in Denver – Pax: “Why can’t you fly in this? I’ve driven in weather like this and did fine. Your pilots are just being lazy! Get me on another airline!
- “Woman’s 20 year old daughter has a peanut allergy… Me: “Would You like something to drink?” Her: “Does the water go straight from the bottle to my cup?”
- “Am I sitting at a window seat? because I’d like to get a little fresh air.”
- “Do we really have to wait for them to fix the engine before we can take off?“
- “Are the napkins kosher?”
- A passenger was biting into the cord of the old coach headsets and said to me, “This licorice is stale.”
Bottom Line:
All these comments are hard to believe, but most likely true. Have you overheard anything outrageously crazy in the airport or on an airplane?
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I was on a Southwest flight, and an employee of an even lower cost competitor was next to me. When we were probably 20 mins out of Phoenix, he asked the flight attendant why his cell phone wasn’t working to send tweets. Um, because we’re flying??? He said that he could see the ground so he thought he would get reception. Not sure I will ever be able to fly the airline he works for (he is/was a mechanic).
The best thing I’ve overheard at an airport was actually just last month… I’m waiting at a Delta gate at OAK around 30 minutes before boarding, and a passenger is arguing with the gate agent.
“Sir, the flight is on time, you just arrived early.”
“YES BUT THERE IS A SOUTHWEST FLIGHT LEAVING IN 10 MINUTES AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN’T SEEM TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT ME ON THAT FLIGHT SINCE I WENT TO THE TROUBLE TO GET HERE EARLY.”
The patience of the gate agent was amazing, I have to say.
I used to work for as a sales agent for an airline (outside the US). The airline’s website displayed some fares as “economy -restricted” (meaning , they are non refundable and such..). I had a guy call in and ask me “why is it restricted? Is it a secret”?
Great article.